Tommy & Joan

‘Is Love! Is Good Thoughts’

This coming Friday, we will not only wake with the weekend happy dance buzzing in our feet, for many, our hearts will also be beating to the powerful tune that only February 14 continues to bring; igniting our souls to express our feelings for our special someone on Valentine’s Day.

Having spent an evening in Melbourne’s Chinatown in late January reporting on film producer and director Frank Howson, who was producing a music video clip for artist Kole Dysart for his song Hong Kong Lover, I met to Kole’s supportive parents - Australian showbiz veterans of stage, television and film, Tommy Dysart and Joan Brockenshire.

By simply chatting and enjoying Tommy and Joan’s company on the sidelines, I couldn’t help but wonder if Valentine’s Day had come early, or whether their relationship of over four decades, had perhaps began with Cupid playing the lead role in what appeared to me, to be a match made in heaven. They were clearly still best friends and very much in love.

Crossing paths at a party hosted by J.C. Williamsons in the grand foyer of Melbourne’s Her Majesty’s Theatre in the late 60s, the two (then) aspiring performers with just a pocket full of dreams and burning ambition to speak louder than the other, agreed, disagreed, thought about it and finally gave up the fight by agreeing through gritted teeth, that they were destined to be together, forever.

Immediately going on to perform alongside each other in the production of Man of La Mancha at the Comedy Theatre, Tommy and Joan’s love blossomed and decided to break convention by sharing an apartment together in St Kilda out of wedlock.

In their early days living St Kilda, Tommy recalls handing Joan his weekly pay packets (according to Tommy, 43 years on, nothing has changed…but Joan strongly disagrees) as they mapped out their showbiz career paths before eloping to Northcote to tie the knot. After several major disagreements, break-ups and according to Tommy, four marriage proposals later (although Joan lost count after the seventh) on St Patrick’s Day on March 17, 1971, Cupid’s work was finally done, their ‘I dos’ finally prevailed.

Being a couple that are considered by many within the Australian showbiz industry as living ‘royalty’ and described by Frank Howson as being, ‘the salt of the earth’, I met with up Tommy and Joan in Sandringham to find out how they will be celebrating Valentine’s Day and what they consider to be the keys to their successful relationship.

Being a couple that seem so in love, do you still celebrate Valentine’s Day?

Tommy: Yes, I will be giving a special flower to Joany on Friday. This is following the tradition of, ‘say it with flowers.’ Flowers are expensive these days and with me being a Scot, I shall present Joany with a single bloom. I am a man of few words.

By all accounts, you had such a rocky relationship before you married. What was the key to overcoming your differences?

Joan: You have to go with the highs and lows in relationships. I believe if you truly love your partner then you want everything possible for them. We happened to be in the same business and we started working together. We always tried to achieve something for each other. That’s the way we have been our entire married life. The key was working at everything, together. We do the same thing with our son, Kole, all working together on his music and video clip to help him find his happiness.

Tommy: I quickly learnt to agree with Joany on everything. (If you put that in the interview, please underline it, twice!)

With several marriage proposals between you both, what was one of your favourites?

Joan: When we travelled with the ‘La Mancha’ company from Melbourne to Adelaide by sleeper on the train (in single berths). Four feet protruding from one berth, Tommy’s voice was heard by everyone on the train with, ‘Will you marry me?’ Everyone could hear him. I couldn’t resist and said, ‘yes’ (again).

Tommy: Yes I agree with Joany on that one.

Why did you decide to elope on St Patrick’s Day, particularly with Tommy being a proud Scot?

Tommy: Coincidentally, Nat King Cole was born on the same day in 1919. Nat was both our favourite singer and he still is. His magical voice charmed us all the way to the altar. Nat’s song, ‘The very thought of you’ is still our favourite song. There wasn’t any argument naming our son after him; except our Kole is spelt with a ‘K’.

What’s one thing that you have always admired about each other that you rarely remind each other about these days, but you’d love to express on this Valentine’s Day?

Joan: The way Tommy would walk to work, even from when he was a young boy that his dad was proud of, way before I met him. During his early working days, Tommy would walk and even run to perform anywhere, even after receiving a last minute phone call to play a small part. No job was too far away. He stopped everything and would walk for miles just to perform. He has always been dedicated and passionate about his work. ‘I have always admired your love to perform, darling.’

Tommy: Joany and I were once casting for a show so we called casting director and choreographer at JC Williamsons, Betty Pounder. We told Betty we were looking for a girl who could sing, dance and act who had plenty of vibe about her. Betty told us, ‘you are looking for a young Joan Brockenshire and believe me, there isn’t any such animal.’ I also know this is so true. ‘Joany, you are the animal I love.’

What is your Porch Thought for the day?

Joan: “I love the trees. I talk to trees and pat them. I appreciate our trees but it makes me think about all the people around the world who don’t have trees and perhaps live in refugee camps. I want everyone to pray for these people all together as I believe if we all pray at the same time, change can happen. Pray for those less fortunate than ourselves.”

Tommy: “I don’t have a Porsche thought, it’s a GoGo mobile thought.”