Jack Levi/Elliot Goblet

‘September Porch Thoughts’

Life has a way of presenting challenges when we least expect it. We can be up one minute and down the next. On target to reach our goals, two socks up with the crowd behind you, willing the ball through the sticks as it sails over the man on the mark. ‘Go left; go left; straighten; straighten; and it’s just off-line and through for a minor score.’ What went wrong?

A point on the board here or there can be handy and six will eventually equate to a goal, but it is harder work to achieve the same result. Whether your computer crashes and disabled by a virus and out of action for a week like mine, meetings cancelled at the last second or again like me, you spot a fresh coffee stain doing the ‘Kimmy, Look at me!’ on your shirt just moments before an important meeting, everything needs to be questioned to avoid relentless behind kicking. When challenges arise, I’ve learnt through the success and determination of others, it’s how you react, compose yourself and get back into the game that often gets you over the line for a memorable victory.

On a day I was completely outplayed, with chewie on my boot and the clock ticking down to my ‘publishing deadline’, I stopped at the Belgian Beer Café along St Kilda Road to re-evaluate my column plan before the siren sounded. I ordered a coffee and headed to a quiet area. I seconded guessed my every move that led me to the café to plan new tactics to win the day. On the table adjacent to me, I spotted comedian, television personality, speaker and author Jack Levi, aka Elliot Goblet. Should I approach him for his ‘Porch Thoughts?’ Without prior arrangement and without a single question in mind, although I have met Jack before, I debated whether it was possible to put him on-the-spot to transform into his quirky character for an Elliot Goblet interview.

Well, there is just one day in September that usually counts in Melbourne, but for my weekly column in the Melbourne Observer, let that one day be now. As I looked over to Jack, I could almost hear the words of the late legendary St Kilda, Hawthorn and Richmond coach Alan (‘Yabby’) Jeans ringing through my ears, visualising his fist pumping the air to spur me on, ‘When the occasions come, lead by example, lift yourself and win the contest that will win the game. In every game there is going to be a crossroad and when you get to that crossroad, you either step up or you step down…”

G’Day Elliot, what have you been up to?

Lately I’ve been doing an ‘Advanced Ventriloquism’ act...no dummy just me talking to my hand. I call it ‘Puppetry Of The Palmus’.

Apart from your Belgian Beer Café ‘Porch’, where else do you hang-out?

Predictably you’ll find me always where the action is ranging from The Grand Prix to Sexpo. And you can quote me on that.

The Belgian Beer Café is famous for its mussel pots, do you have a favourite restaurant in Melbourne?

No single favourite restaurant but I do like being near the water - either bayside or at a country restaurant close to a water tank.

What’s your favourite thing to do in Melbourne?

Amuse people on the road by driving a car and on the back window have a sign which says, ‘Driver On Board’. That is a hoot.

What is your favourite Victorian township?

Ballarat. I like the beauty of Lake Wendouree - with or without water in it.

What do the letters ‘M Y K I’ mean to you?

A great source of material for so many comedians.

What do you think of supporters being allowed on the MGC ground after the AFL Grand Final?

Great news, but this will probably lead to an increase of streakers who will now have no fence to jump over.

Where was your last holiday?

Thursday Island but because I went on a Wednesday it took me a whole day to get into my holiday.

Your thoughts of reality TV Shows?

Can’t get enough of them. ‘Being Lara Bingle’ has inspired me to work on a pilot for ‘Being Elliot Goblet’.

Who is your favourite Australian comedian?

Flacco because he makes me seem very normal by comparison.

Who do you enjoy performing with?

A little known fact is that I used to perform with The Three Tenors. I was the fourth but silent tenor and that was very enjoyable.

Your thoughts on social media such as Facebook?

Terrific and my prediction is that Facebook will really take off one day.

Thoughts on Melbourne Zoo turning 150 years?

Gee, that 150 years went fast. Incidentally soon I will be opening a zoo with just empty cages. It will be the world’s first ever zoo for extinct animals. So watch that space.

For or against Derryn Hinch being sacked?

I’m always against Derryn being sacked because he is a courageous individual. I’m sure he will bounce back for the 15th time and any required times after that. And you can quote me on that.

Talking about bouncing back, do you think John Farnham should make another return to the stage?

Yes but in a different way. It’s time for ‘John Farnham The Musical’ with John Farnham as John Farnham.

What’s coming up for Elliot Goblet?

More of the same. I work as a comedian/MC at Corporate Events. Also Weddings, Parties but not anything. Check out www.elliotgoblet.com.au And later this year a cameo role in the Housos movie.

Your Porch Thought of The Day?

“It’s important to note that there’s more caffeine in one bar of chocolate than there is in a hundred bars of soap. And you can quote me on that.”